Are You Ready Yet?

There is a sign in my store that says that cell phones cannot be used inside the store.

Now, most people obviously do not follow this rule, and generally, we don't really enforce it. When people ask us about it, we tell them that we have it posted as a sort of deterrent. When people are on their phones, they just blab on and on to whoever's on the line and ignore us, the dutiful cashier waiting on them as well as all the other people in line.

Today, something like that kind of happened, and situations like this also occur now and then.

This lady, who to me, appeared a bit intoxicated, was standing right in front of the counter talking to another man. The man was trying (horribly) to flirt with her for several minutes with another cashier right in front of them. He was waiting for them to finish and get on with what they would like, but they just went on, and on, and on.

Finally, I just made my way over, kind of pushed the other cashier out the way (I do shit like that all the time.. I'm extremely impatient, and maybe a little rude...) and asked the woman if she was ready to check out because she was holding a bag of pork skins. In a snotty voice she stated that no, she was not ready, and why would I ask if she was ready. I stated that I assumed she was because she was standing in front of my counter. She took the hint, grabbed the guy, and they talked off to the side.

I went back to my register, and later when the old bag WAS ready to check out, I heard her commenting to the other cashier about me saying shit like, "Why would she ask if I was ready? Did I look like I was ready?"

I didn't feel like saying anything, but really, since we already had her money, I could have said whatever the hell I wanted too! The bitch really needed to have some sort of translation manual for most of what I was saying.

So.... for future reference...
If I ask you if you're ready, it's a polite way of saying, "Hurry the fuck up so you can get the fuck out."

P.S. I asked if she was ready when she was holding the 99 cent pork skins because it looked like all she could afford any damn ways.